March 5, 2010 by currbell
SO much has happened. There was the 12 hr labor. I’ll have to tell you all about that some other time, but for now lets say it took a lot of energy & was a beautiful thing. I lost control & screamed only once in those 12 hours & I never snapped at anyone: two things I’m very proud of because they were such hard work to achieve. Then there were these amazing babies! Penelope smiled the very first moment she was born. And you can see how alert and beautiful they are. All I have to say about that is: Brewer’s Diet, Brewer’s Diet, Brewer’s Diet! Then off and on came the full body shakes followed by dripping sweats, along with all my other bodily recovery issues. Breast feeding was going great and getting easier every day. And every day I felt a little worse. We thought it was hormones, those shakes and sweats. It wasn’t. With a fever of 104 the midwife had The Man rush me to the ER and I was admitted to the hospital under the care of the good backup doctor whom we had gotten to know over the past six months. It was a scary hour for me, kissing my babies good-bye and going to the ER for the first time in my life. I had an infection in my uterus (like a bladder infection). This was five days after the birth. Nearly 30 years old and I was in for my very first hospital stay. It was the nicest, quietest, little hospital with the nicest nurses and it was just horrible, because I couldn’t sleep. Every time I would, something would beep or someone needed my blood or whatever. Eight days after birth I was able to fly (metaphorically of course) back to the birth clinic and see my babies again. But now I had a new problem. I had less than seven hours sleep in two straight days…and that was preceded by the round the clock feedings. It felt like the sleep switch on my brain got stuck & I couldn’t figure out how to reset it. It felt like my brain was flying 90 miles an hour & slamming on the brakes every little while. It felt like a bad roller coaster I couldn’t get off & it just kept getting worse & worse. I wanted a sleeping pill but felt too guilty (as a mother) to ask for one. Finally I reached a very serious point where I was the edge of my last bit of brain power & logic. The midwife assessed me and gently suggested I might be getting a little “manicy” (not really the right clinical term we found out later but it worked for the moment). So the backup doctor was called again and he suggested some sleeping pills. Praise God! Sweet sleep! How am I now? Quickly/slowly recovering. Why am I spending precious energy working on a blog? In all honesty,I’m not . Part of getting my brain to relax & rest has been to write down the things that are rolling around in my head-so they can get out of my head and I can rest! Right now I am sitting in bed with a breast pump in one hand (we are trying to keep my supply up) and a pen in the other. I can’t stand the idea of forgetting any of these wonderful days since the birth. How can I call them wonderful? LOL, well you see I haven’t told you anything about the amazing spiritual journey of these days. God has changed me more and brought be closer to Him in these few days than He has in my whole life put together. And that’s not all. He has done the same thing for half a dozen people around me through my hard times. I feel so honored to have been the tool He used for the others. God had to bring us low to lift us high! I weep tears of joy over just the thought of it (and it’s not the baby blues, because The Man has wept with me) and praise God’s name!
May you all be as blessed as I am and welcome the low times with open arms so He may lift you up!