April 2, 2009 by currbell
I don’t know how to post about this, but I feel like I should, so I am. We lost the baby this past weekend. The Man was out of town a few states away. I had been spotting some all week, but it was light and according to everything we could find there was no reason to worry, but that started changing Saturday late afternoon. There isn’t anything doctors can do at 8 weeks. We decided that if we lost the baby we would have to tell everyone, so we might as well ask everyone to pray, since that was the only thing to be done. So I simply kept off my feet and cried a lot and prayed a lot and watched movies and knit like a crazy person. It was good to have something for my hands to do. I’m pretty sure we lost the baby Saturday night. Thankfully The Man was able to fly home the next day, so he was with me for all the doctor’s visits. After I started to feel a little better physically he decided to take me out of town to my parents, which is where I am right now. We were planning on coming this direction next week because there is a piece of land out here which we are interested in buying. It’s been very good to be with my family and to have something else to think about. I can’t cry any more right now. It’s amazing how I can feel that God let this happen and yet in the middle of my confusion and hurt feel that I am so loved by Him and that He has never left me. After all God was the only one there holding me as that baby passed from my care to His. I don’t think there are really words for the emptiness and pain of all this, yet I don’t feel without hope.